I had the notion

My mind doesn't know what I should think. I don't know which person I should follow. What should I do with my life? Should I go here with you? I'm nervous, and I'm scared about how you or you will react. I, I, I just don't know.

Each day seems to go by fast, especially the weekends. They say time speeds by when you are about to grow up. I believe it, and I don't want it to go by fast, but I do at the same time. I can't believe how old I am getting. I know, I'm only 17, but truly, I never thought I'd grow up. I just can't believe it. I looked over yesterday in my car, and I saw in the seat, my laptop, iphone, camera, and ipod. Those are all things I wanted when I was a little kid, well, not the iphone, obviously. But, I never thought I'd get. My car I never thought I get. God showed me how blessed I was to be able to have these things, and I'm truly thankful for each. I just can't believe how blessed I am. In ninth grade, I lost a person in a car crash, who was the most inspirational person, who was so happy with life, he moved a lot of people when he died, and made us realize how precious our life is. He's also another reason I look forward to going to Heaven. When I think about how two years ago, I was laying on my Maw Maw & Paw Paw's couch, just thinking about wanting someone, to be "in love" and how it'd never happen to me, and very soon, here comes Christian into my life. I just knew that it was God, I knew it. Well, he was always there, but he was my best friend. It all started with him saying, "I would want to date you if I live in Rock Hill, whether it worked or not, I would." When people told me when he went to my school that he thought I was so pretty, but he never told me then, but I was like, hmm, maybe I should try to date the kid, then everyone told me he was moving, so I was like, ahh, nevermind. But, that one night on aim, on April 9 of 2008, my life changed. We've been together 17 months this Wednesday, and it's been so rocky, but worth it. I was so shy before him. He really helped me grow up and be comfortable with who I am. He's a blessing to me, and no matter what people say to me about him, I'm thankful. TRULY, thankful. I love you.